


The Star Trek Medical Drabbles Collection

by mandykaysfic



Series: Medical drabbles [5]
Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 19:21:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandykaysfic/pseuds/mandykaysfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Medical drabbles for products belonging to Dr Phlox.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Star Trek Medical Drabbles Collection

_Trippol Heat Gel: For the Attainment of all Responses_

Summary: Dr Phlox develops a neuropressure aid, as advertised in ‘Journal of Interspecies Physical Therapy’.

 

Do you practice neuropressure?

Do you find the friction created between your fingers and the recipient detracts from the experience and interferes with the intended result? Does the recipient find the treatment more painful than the stress that caused the problem?

Trippol Heat Gel is the answer.

Developed by Dr Phlox during his time with Starfleet as CMO on the Enterprise, Trippol Heat Gel’s unique texture enables the user’s fingers to glide almost frictionlessly over skin without loss of pressure needed to achieve the desired response.

Trippol Heat Gel – assists in the attainment of all neuropressure responses.

By Pfazer-Galaxo Universal

 

END

 

_Xyrillidine: Making Male Pregnancy a Reality_

Summary: Dr Phlox retired from Starfleet and lived comfortably on the fortune he earned from this discovery.

 

Pfazer-Galaxo Universal is pleased to announce a breakthrough in fertility medicine.

Introducing the Xyrillidine series.

Mixed-gender couples may now share the experience of pregnancy.  
Male couples no longer need a surrogate womb.

Xyrillidine1.5* stimulates the neuroendocrine system in males and triggers development of a pseudosac. Genetic material may be mixed in the laboratory or combined physically via sexual intercourse.  
Xyrillidine2.0 aids implantation of the embryo.  
Xyrillidine2.5 encourages normal growth and development of the fetus.  
Xyrillidine4.0 shrinks the pseudosac after delivery. No scarring. No stretch-marks!

Suitable for all male humanoids.

 

*Xyrillidine1.6 is being developed for use by females.

 

END

 

_Porthoids: That’s POR-TH-OI-DS_

Note: This is an audio ad, so imagine it read in a sonorous male voice (not the female computer voice.)

 

(Eight note catchy jingle is played)

Do you suffer from lumbago or headaches? Why not try Dr Phlox’s Porthoids?

Doctor Phlox’s Porthoids will help you too if you suffer from backache, rheumatism, neuritis, sensitivity to unpleasant smells or gastrointestinal distress if unable to digest cheddar cheese.

Porthoids: that’s POR-TH-OI-DS.

(Different, higher pitched voice) Porthoids are supplied in a handy, atmosphere-protected, easily recognizable gold tin with the familiar black script, and an easy-to-use one-shot hypospray for cases of nasal sensitivity. Dr Phlox’s Porthoids - brought to you by McKenzie’s, a name you can still trust.

(Eight note catchy jingle is played again)

END


End file.
